My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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