90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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