Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
