Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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