saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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