honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
