So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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