Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
