ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
