woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
