So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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