I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize