Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
