we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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