I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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