I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
