How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
