The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize