well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Non-Jews are for practice
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
