When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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