Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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