Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
