how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
