I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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