i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
