I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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