I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize