I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
