On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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