It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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