I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
