either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
