how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Randomize
