The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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