So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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