Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
