ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
My vagina is officially offended.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
