He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
