Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize