Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
