If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
