Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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