You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize