Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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