yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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