Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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