Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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