Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
