you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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