STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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