awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
