so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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