I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
