But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
