Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
