had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
