I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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