he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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