there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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