We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
