I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
