You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
