...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
