he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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