Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize