That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
