Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
