Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
