i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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