just come out here and I will go home with you...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
