What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
It's blow job season.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
