it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize