It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Randomize
