I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
