This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
