It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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